Tag Archives: Relationships

How a Horoscope Cheered Me Up

A family member the other day said “Well, you’re a lot nicer to be around these days”.  To be fair, it was in the context of his statement, “so, you don’t watch the news.”  Still, it hurt.  It wasn’t a question so I needn’t have tried to explain why I may have been the way I was or how my new habits help me.  At one point he sniggered at something I said.  I wasn’t making a lot of sense.  I was too hurt by his comment, ticked off, and feeling defensive.

I’ve often thought that my family, and a long-time friend, believe that I became a better version of myself when I met a nice guy. Granted, this nice guy, now my husband, is an incredibly loving and kind person. He’s funny, creative, smart, clever, and I love him so much. But my life did not just snap into a beautiful place when he showed up.

My worst fear was realized when the family member continued on by saying, “And then you met Dave” referring that once I met my husband I was all unicorns and rainbows.  Um, no.  No one can make us happy, give us peace, or a sense of purpose.  I had to change the way I thought of myself.  I allowed his truly harmless words to upset me because to me it meant he doesn’t know me very well.

So a week later, I’m reading the local entertainment paper and come upon the horoscopes. I rarely look at horoscopes but decide to read my husband’s for fun. We laugh because it’s so general and so not him.

Then I start to read mine out loud and bammo it’s just how I feel!  Very specific and around the idea that no one really knows what I’ve accomplished.  As I kept reading we laughed at how surprisingly on target it was.  I giggled so much that tears were streaming down my face.  Thank you Universe, it’s just what I needed.

d5152-1501026167996The world will never fully know or appreciate the nature of your heroic journey.  Even the people who love you the most will only ever understand a portion of your epic quest to become your best self.  That’s why it’s important for you to be generous in giving yourself credit for all you have accomplished up until now and will accomplish in the future.  Take time to marvel at the majesty and miracle of the life you have created for yourself.  Celebrate the struggles you’ve weathered and the liberations you’ve initiated.  Shout Glory hallelujah! as you acknowledge your persistence and resourcefulness.  The coming weeks will be an especially favorable time to do this tricky but fun work.  

Ah Networking…Parlay This…

For whatever reason I woke up in the middle of the night and entertained myself by watching the stars outside our bedroom window, reviewing my day by reliving the networking lunch I attended.  I somehow composed in my head a much funnier blog post about networking than what I’m typing here.  But how nice that I was cracking myself up last night.  Funny or not, I had an epiphany about networking, or better yet…let’s call it…reaching out and connecting with others.

Creating my own vision and ideas requires that I also create the follow-up to those ideas.  That means it’s time to leave my awesome sunny house, pull myself away from watching the bird feeder activity, shake some hands and parlay connections to speaking opportunities.  Opportunities won’t drop into my life and bite me on my cute…well, you get the idea.  I have to take some action in order for the results to meet me where I am.

Therefore, yesterday I attended the second networking event in two weeks and I haven’t done that since the days I worked in the Corporate world.  Thankfully, I’m no longer mingling and talking about how I grow a company’s ROI through my strategic marketing plans.  Now I’m talking about our humanity, something 30 years ago I never would have guessed I’d be talking about.  Something that’s not the least bit mainstream and boy did I ever feel like I stuck out at this luncheon.  After my initial Sesame Street song moment…which of these things don’t belong?, when I took a breath and chilled, I realized I’m actually really great with sticking out because I can’t make much of a contribution if I water down the thought provoking ideas I’m sharing.

As I listened to the realtors, the beauty product and healthy food supplement sellers, those in fashion, IT, photography, floral arranging, marketing, travel, fitness, various support services, I realized we’re not so different after all.  pexels-photo-70292Just like me, it seemed like every person that attended that luncheon desires a meaningful life.  They either genuinely already feel good about what their work is or want to.  Purposeful work is a heartfelt desire but often isn’t pursued for a gazillion reasons.  When I was ready to move into what I’m doing now I had to let go of don’t attract attention to you.  And here I am, an introvert networking to find public speaking opportunities where I’ll be seen and heard.  Introverted or extroverted, as we create connections we all show our vulnerabilities as we allow each other to see where we are in our personal process.  I’m sure I wasn’t the only person feeling awkward.

Ok, so in the past, networking has been nowhere near as fun as a walk in the woods, music, painting, taking photographs, or going to the dentist. But my new intention is to have fun with it because it’s about connecting with others and isn’t that what my work is all about?  And I can use networking to practice telling what I do in a New York minute (fat chance), assist someone with one of my contacts, parlay it into a newfound acquaintance, or let it lead to a sweet speaking opportunity.  I’m good now at allowing for and enjoying what’s within to assist me.  Now it’s time to get out of my own way and gratefully let it also assist, through people.

Equisite Life Lessons

Exquisite  aha moments are frequent these days.  Maybe not so exquisite as obvious.

I’ve been so confused lately about friendships.  It appears I’m in a transition period and, as a result, I feel I have some decisions to make about some of my friendships.  So much has shifted in my life over the past few years that my friendships are shifting as well.  With the country going through so many raw emotions now it’s easy to get into the habit of being upset, feeling hopeless, and seeing the negative.  But those are not emotions I want to cultivate.  I get it, something very upsetting happens and we go to fear, seeing the worst in everything, feeling dread and waiting for the worst to happen.  However, my belief is that feeling hopeless and angry offers the world or me nothing of benefit, it offers only struggle.  Instead, I choose to see possibilities.  I choose to literally create what I desire.  As I’m creating positive, I’m experiencing more positive things in my life.  And, when I look back, I see a direct correlation between when I began to choose to look to myself to create better thoughts, healthier habits, and when positive experiences began to show up for me.  So I’m not budging because this is working really, really, well for me.

However well things are going for me, I do feel a bit lonely hanging out here in positivity land as I don’t exactly fit in with some of my friends any longer.  I’m having a really hard time listening to them.  However nice it is to get together with people, I don’t enjoy being with friends that prefer to go to fear and dread.  And, it’s impossible to create what I want to create if I surround myself with people who have fear and dread.  It’s like trying to create a healthy lifestyle while smoking a pack of cigarettes.

When a friend and I recently spent time together, I wanted to enjoy our time by talking about anything but how bad things are.  I realized I’d been watering myself down in this friendship.  I rarely share what I’m excited about, or talk about some of the things I’m doing.  I don’t tell and the friend doesn’t ask.  So explaining why I don’t want to look at all that’s seemingly dark out there, I shared why I now choose to see possibilities, hope, and inspiration.  I brought her up to date by sharing some of the amazing things that I’ve experienced, how hard I worked to get here, what I had to look at to get to this place, how excited I am about what I’m working on now.  That I’m not interested in focusing on the drama and popular events that pull us down into hopelessness and fear.  Unfortunately, I not so subtly conveyed through my evident frustration that day, and this is how I feel about all your negativity.

I can’t speak for my friend, but this was not about how often we get together but more about the authenticity and quality of our time together.  It’s about letting friends see all of me now, especially the parts I’m apt to hide because I think a friend won’t like those parts.  It’s about being seen and then asking if the mutual interest isn’t there, why are we?  It’s a lesson in letting go.  Being a better and kinder friend might mean allowing some friendships to fade away for our mutual benefit.

Oh yea!

My relationships are a big way for me to learn, to become more clear, live more consciously and experience unconditional love.  Everything including the kitchen sink could go in that sentence.  Based on all the shifts and new behaviors, and thoughts I have, I’m experiencing some of my relationships changing for the better.  The relationships that don’t, no longer feel right to me and fade away.  I’ve looked at myself and continue to do some work around myself and all of my perceptions, habits, beliefs, and behaviors.  I get to experience the benefit of this work when around my longer term relationships. Recently, I noticed that a person who has been in my life, for a very long time, is vulnerable.  I feel their vulnerability and restlessness for the first time rather than perceiving them as I usually do. My usual fear of not being enough for them no longer fits.  I used to always experience people experiencing me, but using my own poor perceptions of myself.  And when I wasn’t feeling good about myself, I invented negative perceptions about the other person.  I give myself a break because it was challenging to maintain a healthy self-image and lightness around all the heaviness that I was exposed to.  And I took those habits out to adulthood.  It’s nice to no longer have a need for a dialog of my insecurities yammering away in my ear, or to invent a list of someone’s shortcomings.  It’s a big party in my heart because this is an important relationship to me.  Feeling pretty great about this development, while meditating, I visualize releasing my old thoughts and perceptions, going back for many, many years, to the highest form of light and this always works well for me. I’m learning to use my imagination to tap into a dimension that’s available to me and always there and assisting.  When ready, I plan on releasing more.  I start thinking of the possibilities in my other relationships.  I ask for more experiences where I can see more clearly and let go of old perceptions.  It will happen when it’s best for me, and best for the other person,…no sooner, no later.