Tag Archives: energy

When It’s Time To Stop Trying So Hard

If we want our relationships, our work, our art, our life experience to be amazing, we will need to learn to let go of trying to “do” it right and learn how to have more fun in any and all ways possible.  I see this a lot now in my fun work.  Some have said to me how are you doing this?  What is it that you’re doing to make this happen?  I don’t want to annoy them but the truth is I’m enjoying myself and that’s why and how it’s all coming together.

I see that people are pushing and pushing to be seen, to have the best social media practices to bring visibility to themselves by networking, and emailing lists, creating videos because they’ve heard that works, or learning the latest and greatest social media sites.  To me it’s all contributing to more noise and if everyone is doing the same thing…you getting where I’m going with this?  Then you’re just like everyone else and don’t stand out at all.

I do some best practices too and I’m trying to learn a couple of social media thing-a-ma-bobbers.  But mastering all “the correct and proven steps”, well maybe that works for others, but for me, it sucks the joy right out of my fun work and then things get stuck.  So I keep it simple and just. have. fun.

pexels-photo-258330You want to know my best practices?  It’s hiking, going for a walk in the woods, painting, editing my photos, writing, hanging out with my husband, sailing, watching a great movie, reading a good book, listening to music.

It’s very old-school but if you so desire, there are best practices for everything, from social media, promoting ourselves, growing our business, even how to approach one’s spiritual practice.  I’ve heard more rules from people than I can shake a stick at.  There’s always someone to help us get caught up in doing it better, right, doing whatever it is more correctly, more successfully.

If we’re in alignment with our purpose it’s all working out fine, trust me.

My belief is from personal experience, that everything, from any particular area of our spiritual growth, meaning our work, relationships, art, everyday experiences, will all flourish and bloom in releasing our need to control or force things into place just so and instead enjoy life.

When we’re truly following our heart, we’ll be successful, however success shows up for us on our path.

This week my challenge is my beautiful website photos are cut off, in half, on a PC.  The banner photos weren’t even close to looking like the photos I took.  I went into full-out stress mode trying different aspect ratios, moving the focal point around, trying other photos, emailing my website’s customer service, and spending time on user experience on a PC laptop and a MAC laptop.

Watching myself slouch into this is not enjoyable mode I encouraged my husband to take a break with me from his projects. So we went to our favorite lunch spot, we ate outside, talked with some locals, visited a couple of art galleries, took a photo to be framed, and enjoyed a farmer’s market. e1d81-1502570672679

And when I switch to something lighter I allow for the best ideas and my creativity to blossom, and answers and solutions show up.

My intuition is assisting me all the time in learning to pay attention to how I feel in more and more moments and to strike a nice balance.  It doesn’t have to be OMG this is SO AMAAAAZINGGGG EXCITING kind of feeling because that’s impossible to maintain all the time, but sometimes it’s just a feeling of I’m in the zone, this feels nice.  And if something doesn’t feel right, I know not to push through it and keep hammering away but instead take a break and do something else.  As an ex-uber-do-er, it’s so worth it for me to practice this balance because I feel better and everything works better.  I guess you could say I’m more successful when I stop trying so hard.

My experience is if we want our relationships, our work, our art, our life experience to be even better than what we can imagine, we will need to learn to let go of trying to do it right and learn how to enjoy life in any and all ways possible.

 

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Standing in our own personal power

It was a simple meeting…

How was it that afterwards, when I came home and had lunch with my husband, I cried?  As I tried to express myself between tears I kept saying Why do I feel this way?  What exactly happened?  My husband was also asking, how could you get so upset over a casual meeting with someone?  I don’t know why I feel this way, I blubbered into my salad while spilling dressing all over myself.  And I really didn’t.  I needed a minute (it took a week or so).  I was so done, sniffle, sniffle.

Embracing our differences

 

This experience was not really about a disconnection with someone or an awkward meeting I’d had the best of intentions for.  This was an opportunity for me to learn something about myself.

We’d met the previous week at her event and from what we both shared there, it seemed we were on the same wavelength.  While she didn’t intend for this, I felt deflated by her first question…so tell me, I know there’s more to your story.  There isn’t really much more I thought and all of a sudden I felt ordinary around someone who clearly was exuding ‘special’ and ‘expert’ as she shared all her highly unusual metaphysical experiences.  I felt like a duck out of water and no longer stood in my personal power.

Not a fun meeting and I take complete responsibility for feeling smaller.  I compared myself to someone else and fell into an old pattern of coming up short.  Watching an old belief pop up over a simple interaction, allowing old assumptions about myself to resurface, the more constricted I felt.

If this experience taught me anything it’s that I have my own lane, to embrace it, and to confidently stand in it.

I Know More Than Squat Now

I didn’t know squat before about managing my awareness, my energy, or about how I was creating (usually creating what I didn’t want to experience).  There was me controlling things by making them happen because I could….Miss Organized.  And there was the philosophy of things just happen.  Life happens.  Well I feel totally differently now as experienced by everything I’m learning.  I’m learning to use my intuition rather than take a velvet hammer to my life and pound it into it’s organized place.  I’m learning to catch myself before I go down the various rabbit holes of discouragement.  Then there’s creating.  Had zero knowledge that I create what I experience from my thoughts and habits, among other things.

There are ideas I’m creating and working on, there are interesting people I’m meeting, and my every moments, large and small, are lovely.  I can’t wait to walk down the hall to my office every morning to get to work on some of my ideas.  What’s funny is I’m waaaayyy more open and lighthearted.  I’m effusive but hopefully not annoyingly so.  If I really like a business I’m dealing with I send them an email and tell them all the things I like about them and thank them profusely.  Then I wonder if it might not be a good time to ground myself.  I wrote two thank you notes two times last week and wasn’t the least bit embarrassed for myself.  One of the “gushees” even sent me a nice extra discount for future use.  More reason to gush.

My feeling is that lightheartedness is contagious.  img_9122Yesterday I watched my husband walk over to the paint person at Lowes and told her how nicely stocked the paint can aisles looked and asked her if she did it.  Ok random example he might wish I didn’t share, but point being, she lit up with a big smile. Yesterday I went to a vegan class at Whole Foods (yes friends my face will get even thinner…again…bite me…this time I’m sticking with it) and a woman asked me you probably get this all the time, has anyone told you that you look like Jill Biden?  Happily I said, only one other person. THANK YOU, I LOVE Jill Biden and then I added and Joe, and Michelle and Barack.   And then I thanked her for not telling me I looked like Steffy Graff as the checkout person at Safeway told me.  Steffy is awesome I just don’t think I look like her.  You’re looking at my photo aren’t you and thinking I don’t think she looks like Jill Biden.  Whatever.  I don’t think I look like Jill either but how nice of the woman to say so.

I have no idea where I’m going with this other to say that I believe the world shifts one tiny moment at a time.  When we feel nice we behave nicely.  I’m personally experiencing joy and inspiration as a result of what I choose to focus on, where I place my thoughts.  I know way more than squat now and I’m enormously benefiting from it.