Lately I feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon. Even as I type this post my keyboard can’t keep up with me and I have to keep pausing for the cursor to catch up. I’m conflicted between wanting faster Internet, but not wanting to give Verizon more of my money.
Along with things feeling like they’re moving at the speed of light, are the inevitable growing pains associated with me being ok with being different. I’m coloring outside the lines and some days I own that, and some days I feel awkward and weird and weird (I know I typed that twice). There are gazillions of people out there talking and writing about the very thing I’m talking and writing about. We’re all doing our thing, each of us resonating with different people, as it should be. But it’s clear that this line of work is not attracting approval from friends, family, or most strangers. It isn’t mainstream. Mark my words, once my book is published and I’ve given a TEDTalk, then I’ll get the approving sentiments, the clap on the back, but by then I won’t need their encouragement.
When aligning with our purpose we’re stretching ourselves. You’re probably equally excited and terrified. It’s understandable that you’re in need of a kind word, occasional words of encouragement. Funny, we get impressed about where people work, what their titles are, how monetarily successful they are, if they’re published, what they drive, where they live, how they dress. Meanwhile, we’re missing the magnificent that we pass on the sidewalk every single day, the great musician guy working at Trader Joe’s, or the folks we meet networking or at social events, that seem so ordinary, just like us…but, just like us, they’re amazing and they’re standing right in front of us. Me. You. Not because we worked at stupid AOL years ago but because of who we are. Maybe we should all wave while jumping up and down shouting “I’m right here! I’m a magnificent human being…do you see it too?!”
You see yesterday, I had a gigantic moment. I joined a group of ladies for a friend’s birthday and was asked what I do or if I was retired. Answering her I said I’m a speaker and talk about spirituality, about looking to ourselves for the change we want for ourselves and the world. Simple right? And then, it felt so good to say that, I kept going. Yupper, because I was sharing something that meant a lot to me I kept talking out of sheer nervousness as several faces politely listened to my monologue. It’s like I gave myself a get out of jail card purging many decades of holding back and it came out in a torrent of words. Then I told them my other idea I’m working on, cause evidently I wasn’t done talking yet.
We all have these moments that are big for us but others couldn’t possibly know because the moment is ours, not theirs. It always feels good not trying to fit in, being my old self who used to hold back, worried I might “rock the boat” or stick out, afraid of being seen and heard. Yesterday I talked too much about myself, stuck out, rocked the mainstream boat a little, as I talked about something many people don’t understand and probably think is strange for me to do. Bite me. I color outside the lines and happy that I do. All I have to say is, if you’re reading this and you color outside the lines too, good! Don’t stop. Don’t hold back. Be yourself, and show other people what it looks like to think differently, and to see how that pays off in unimaginable ways. Not everyone colors outside the lines and that’s ok too. We should all be ourselves unapologetically.
For me, I know I’m experiencing a growth spurt. No one else will recognize it. But it’s here and I’m good with it and with all the vulnerable feelings that come along with it. Stretching myself is always a challenge, but it gets easier, until…I reach my next challenge. No question, I’d rather be in a space of growth than be stuck where I was.