Category Archives: gratefulness

5 Things I’m Doing For Myself

1- Use only the most helpful and positive technology.  Last month I downloaded the Insight Timer, an app for meditation.  It’s become very important to me that I do some group meditations now and again.  Through the Insight Timer app, I joined a Global Meditation Group that periodically meditates for planetary peace and well-being.  Plus I’ve created a few meditation presets with and without background sound, with varying time limits.  And, I’m connecting with people all over the world.  Technology is here and I’m good with technology if we can use it to support ourselves.  https://insighttimer.com/

2-Join groups for support.  There are a few meditation groups in my area and I’ve been sitting in on their group meditations, in-person (not virtually, as with the app I just mentioned).  I found all of these meditation groups on Meetup.  And all are based on mindfulness meditation practices.  Most of these groups have someone who leads the meditation, offers a message that we can then offer our response to.  We share how we feel and, from listening, we can become more clear.  Plus, I just like the connection I feel from a group meditation.  https://www.meetup.com/

3-Play.  I just finished an art class in pastels, a new medium for me to learn.  Every time I play with art I have to learn that it’s not about striving for more talent in an effort to become an accomplished artist, but more to let go, have fun and play.  This is a good way to feel about art because it takes me away from comparisons, from negative self-talk and instead, I learn to see something beautiful in what I create.  Self-deprecation is not a friend.  Humility is an admirable characteristic, but only to a point.  I’m all in favor of looking at our art, our music, whatever our passion is, and to recognize the awesomeness of what we’re creating, regardless of how it compares to others.

Speaking of creating…

4-From dawdling to prioritizing.  When I doubt myself, get scared, I can procrastinate which way the hair blows down the back of a gnat’s ass.  However, what I really want is to continue taking steps to create my dreams and ideas.  I have a habit of first cleaning the house, then cooking, maybe paying bills, running errands, and then, if there’s time, working on my ideas.  Rather, on a good day, when I prioritize first what my passion is, I’m sending a message to both the universe and to myself that my dream is important.  The more I prioritize my dreams, the more I open to the next steps to act on my ideas.  I begin to receive assistance in all kinds of ways.  And, I’ve asked for assistance when stuck in procrastination mode.  Even as I’m dawdling, I’ll ask for assistance for moving forward, and an opportunity will show up gently encouraging me forward.

5-Practice awareness.  Becoming aware of how assistance is coming through for me.  Becoming aware of my self-talk and thoughts.  Especially becoming aware of my heart as I meditate, as I meet with someone, even as I’m out doing something as mundane as grocery shopping.  Ok, I’m human so I’m not aware all the time, but I am more and more, and it’s making a positive difference in my life from the way I hold myself to the connection I feel.  This past week, I was at a holiday party for a wonderful non-profit, and as their volunteers were being recognized, I stood there watching and thinking “May everyone feel peace, love, support, and a sense of cooperation, and collaboration”.   To me, they’ve been creating exactly that, peace, love, support, cooperation, and collaboration.  It was kind of a metta (loving kindness) meditation while standing in a room full of people.  And then a funny thing happened, my raffle ticket won the big raffle prize and I was shaken out of my reverie big time.  In the next moment I was thanking people, shaking hands, and having my photo taken and walked away with a high-end sailing jacket.  For a long minute (maybe two hours or so), I felt guilty for winning that jacket because I only volunteered one to three times for that organization.  My husband had to talk me off the ledge by reminding me it was a raffle ticket that anyone was able to win, any active volunteer like himself, or a non-volunteer, anyone who attended the party.  I kicked my guilt to the curb, allowed myself to be thankful for winning the lovely gift, shut-up, and enjoyed the moment.

One more thing, and this brings it to six, not five, but who’s counting?

6-Watch less TV!  My husband and I have really gotten into a rut of watching TV.  Granted, they’re not violent shows, but there’s usually something upsetting happening at some point.  night-television-tv-theme-machinesHere’s the deal.  My brain or body doesn’t know the difference between real life and the make-believe lives on TV.  So when I watch a TV show and get attached to the characters and the story lines, it’s like it’s really happening.  The emotions I feel, the tension in my body, are a result of watching the show.  What’s worse, later on I may still think about it as I fall asleep, or when I wake up.  That’s why I watch the news almost not at all.  It stays with me and revisits me, visually and emotionally, until I feel dis-empowered, depressed, and hopeless and then I’m no good to anyone.  It’s important to remember that everything has an energy,  and what we take into our bodies affects us visually, emotionally, and physically.  In our world, when my husband and I watch TV, one of us isn’t playing guitar, the other isn’t painting, we’re not sitting in front of the fire listening to music, or talking to each other.  TV is a time suck and we have too many interests for time sucks.  It rarely adds to my life, and it’s addictive.  pexels-photo-688019So, in an effort to get back to a good balance, we just finished eating our chili in front of the fire, and I’m now writing this post in front of the fire.  The TV is in the other room, and it’s off.

 

Our moods have a lot to do with how we are being and what we’re creating.  Can you think about how you’re supporting yourself (or not) by your patterns and habits?  It’s so worth a look.  Little steps can make a huge difference in our lives.  It’s fun to learn how we can create big change in our lives, from taking small positive steps.

 

 

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I recently met Joy

Do you ever feel that you’re all in your head, thinking about this or that?  Oh, I sure do.  I wonder about and consider things so much, that I tend to go seriously serious.  Granted, while a lot of what I’m considering is fascinating and worthy of much consideration, it’s not my intention, but my “thinkiness” holds me back and dampens my mood.  It’s impossible for me to be both analytical and joyful at the same time.  Knowing this, I head off to my favorite local hiking trail to enjoy myself.  IMG_9188 copy

Still pondering universal naval fluff, I focused on my breathing and on navigating my way around the newer trails.  On my return route I saw a man and his puppy heading my way.  The minute I saw the puppy I felt my heart jump.  He was happy to see me too.  He jumped up licking my hand, did a couple of pirouettes, jumped up and licked my hand again.  It was a love fest.  I chatted for a couple of minutes with his person while I petted this adorable puppy.  It was time to continue in our opposite directions.  After a couple of steps, I looked back and saw the puppy had stopped and was looking at me.  He seemed to be wondering “you’re not coming with us”?  I said goodbye and turned back to my walk.  I never asked his person what the puppy’s name was, but I would have named him Joy.  Imagine people asking what’s your dog’s name and answering “this is Joy”!   Joy showed up at just the right time, excitedly encouraging me to get out of my head and to choose lightheartedness.

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WP Photo Challenge – Temporary

This was the first time my husband and I carved a pumpkin together.  Of course, we named him Jack.  We created him by searching for ideas on Pinterest.  My only criteria as we searched, was that our pumpkin have a happy face.

Gee wiz I’ve grown accustomed to him sitting next to our front door.   I know that Jack is only temporary.   But it won’t be easy to let him go.  We didn’t carve last year’s pumpkin, and we kept that one until the life oozed out of it.  But we won’t let that happen to Jack.  He’ll go with dignity and return next October to smile once again.

Even more temporary than Jack, is the pretty fall foliage.  I wanted to run over to the golf course near a walking trail I use, because the prettiest most vividly reddish trees are there.  Unfortunately, my silly daily errand list delayed my visit by too many days. Yesterday I could see that most of the leaves had fallen off.  Here’s a photo of this year’s (now vowing to get there earlier next year), as well as last year’s, (when I vowed to get there earlier this year).

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2017

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2016

How a Horoscope Cheered Me Up

I’ve often thought that family and one very good friend believe that I became a better version of myself when I met a nice guy.  Granted, this nice guy, now my husband, is an incredibly loving and kind person.  He’s funny, creative, smart, clever, and I love him so much.  But my life did not just snap into a beautiful place when he showed up.

My suspicion was realized when a family member commented, “And then you met Dave” in the context of once I met my husband my life was all unicorns and rainbows.  Um, no.  No one can make us happy, give us peace, or a sense of purpose.  I had to change the way I thought of myself and look at where all those limiting thoughts started from.  The member of my family annoyed me (this is an understatement) because it showed he didn’t know me at all.  To think he thought it was all about finding a nice man was doubly annoying.  Wow.  But the poor guy was only going on an assumption because he didn’t know any better.  He didn’t know because the timing of me beginning to uncover my spirituality was not long after I met my husband.  And, I didn’t tell anyone about what I was doing around how I was learning to look at where my limiting beliefs started, how I was learning to look at myself and how I put myself out in the world.  This is not the kind of work everyone wants to hear about, regardless of the positive outcome.

Years ago, what I was opening to was private and also unusual so I assumed people would laugh at me or make fun of me in disbelief.  I was just beginning to nurture a small seedling of my spirituality and I didn’t want anyone stomping on it.  So I kept my experiences to myself.  I didn’t share it with even my oldest friend because we always appear to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum regarding introspection.  Instead I concentrated on my new habits, new ideas and perspectives that would change my life and I pulled back from anyone who tends towards being sarcastic, dismissive or negative about life.  It even took me a while to share some of it with the very man who is credited with changing my life.  Of course he touches my life in many beautiful ways, he’s just not responsible for me working my bum off to release my limiting beliefs and opening to something more beautiful.

So after the comment from “harmless family person”, about a week later, I’m reading the local entertainment paper and see the horoscopes.  I rarely look at horoscopes but decide to read my husband’s for fun.  We laugh because it’s so not him.

Then I start to read mine out loud and bammo it’s just how I feel!  Very specific.  As I kept reading we both laughed at how surprisingly on target it was.  I giggled so much that tears were streaming down my face.  Thank you Universe, it’s just what I needed.

The world will never fully know or appreciate the nature of your heroic journey.  Even the people who love you the most will only ever understand a portion of your epic quest to become your best self.  That’s why it’s important for you to be generous in giving yourself credit for all you have accomplished up until now and will accomplish in the future.  Take time to marvel at the majesty and miracle of the life you have created for yourself.  Celebrate the struggles you’ve weathered and the liberations you’ve initiated…

Gardening and the art of slowing down

The other day I drove home in the middle of the day with garden supplies and noticed two deer meandering on our property.  They were in no hurry and seemed pretty content.  And then I felt contentment, though I did wonder if they just munched a little on our redbud sapling.  When they heard my car come down the dirt road one looked back at me and hung out while I experienced him or her.  Moments like that make me want to shout how much I love living here.

My husband and I bought this home in 2015.  I love the huge windows, the skylights, the woods, the deer, the birds, the fox, the moon and the stars (I know you can find them anywhere), and the wind chimes I placed next to the bench I sit on.  Not so much the Copperheads but so far we haven’t seen one yet this spring.  I’m so grateful and especially for our back yard garden area project.  You know that expression “it’s about the journey”?   Well, for me that’s so true, and it’s this house and our garden area that reminds me to just enjoy every day and not worry so much about getting things done or doing more.

woods

Working in the garden, adding more shade plants, tending to what we have, is a big enough adventure for me right now.  And I get to step back and see how it all looks and how lush it’s becoming.  Actually our property behind the house needs a bit of work to match our vision for a shade garden, but we’re in no hurry.  We’ll buy more new plantings in the fall, with the exception of planting some ground cover in the next couple of weeks, before it turns blistering hot here.

The more I work outside in our yard, the more I realize that being in a hurry and busy is not path to happiness for me.  Deadlines, other’s expectations, social events, networking, even travel which I usually love, just doesn’t do it for me right now.  I need breaks and lots of them and gardening, painting, writing, feel good to me right now.  When I relax I enjoy.  The tricky part is creating a balance between creating my ideas around my work, and time for me to just sit still.  There will be a time when I’ll want to do more, just not at this time.  When I start to feel like I should be further along in with bringing my ideas to action, or utter the words “I should be…by now”, that’s a clue to switch gears and chill.  Unexpectedly, the best opportunities show up when we create a good balance between doing and being.  Maybe things will take a little longer but I’m a big believer in everything happens at the right time, in the right way anyway.

Cringe and Learn

So I’m noodling around with a workshop I’ll be contributing to in a few weeks.  My section is about setting and working towards our vision of our best, pertaining to finding and aligning with our purpose.  It’s no accident that I’m leading the section where we discuss concrete steps we might take to stay in alignment with our vision.  Because this is exactly where I am in my own life.

As we align with our purpose we all need assistance.  Initially, I thought I could do it all myself.  But I need assistance with legalities, forms, and fresh eyes looking at my content, among many other things.

The perfect person always shows up at the perfect time.  Even the ones who don’t seem so perfect.  There’s all kinds of support.  Beautiful support from who I can’t so much see but I’m tremendously benefiting from as opportunities and people are sent my way.

Then there’s the support from people who unknowingly are challenging me and teaching me to stand up for myself or whatever the lesson may be.   Those are the most surprising and often uncomfortable relationships, they pop into my life for only a short time until I get what they’re showing me.  And it can take me a while to figure out what it is they’re showing me.  At first I might even go kicking and screaming into the what’s there for me to learn.  But I don’t want to speak up.   I’m comfortable with my people pleasing inauthentic behavior.  It’s more difficult to share my truth and be myself.  And I look away until it becomes so uncomfortable that I have to pay attention.  Ok, what is this about?!

All I can say is, if something doesn’t feel right, it’s a good idea to take a minute to try to figure out why because it’s there to learn from, however uncomfortable it feels.

Speaking up in the moment has always been a challenge for me, so how great is it that in moving forward into my purpose someone pops up to teach me to speak up?

For example, one person I recently hired was with the intention of receiving help to become more succinct on my website.   I soon learned our business relationship was more about teaching me to speak up for myself, though she has no idea she’s teaching me this.  This person is reminding me to pay attention to my feelings and to my intuition asking myself…does this person’s suggestions align with my vision or not?  I’m learning to manage our business agreement…are we still focused on the initial goal?  Am I getting what I paid for?

I used to fold and follow from both a lack of confidence and worry I might hurt someone’s feelings if I disagreed with them or worry they might not like me.  But things are way different now, and this is not the time to fall back into my old habits.

As I listened to our recorded meetings I was very surprised that what I was saying and projecting outwardly, was not how I really felt.   I heard myself agree when I disagreed.  I heard myself say “yeah”, “ok”, lot’s of “yups”, and “thank you’s” when instead I was feeling “no”, “why are we talking about this?”, or “I don’t feel this is working out for me”.   I was cringing when I listened to the recordings.

Turns out a little cringing was worth it because I got it.  Speaking up to get what I pay for is a valuable skill to learn as my vision grows and as I hire more people to assist me in my vision.  So a big thank you to this person and to my guides for the opportunity.  I need to bring more authenticity and confidence to my business dealings and to every relationship.