I’ve said this a million times, each of us is unique. We grew up differently, look different from each other, sound different, dress differently, have totally different life experiences. Our lives might look as though we’re on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Still, we’re all here and we’re all in this together. Every single one of us has a heart that at times is bursting with love or feels utterly broken or something in-between. Each of us, at some point, want something better for ourselves. “More” can be everything from better health, more money, healthier relationships, fulfilling work, joy, love, or an end to struggle.
As I put myself out in the world and look to create possibilities with others I’m very aware of our mutual evaluations. Let’s go with the word evaluation rather than judgment. We all evaluate each other. Sometimes it’s all light and an opening is created. Sometimes it goes the other way, for good reason or because one of us made a snappy judgment, oops I mean evaluation. Everybody evaluates before making a decision and sometimes it’s based on going with our gut or criteria we need to meet. I do it. I consider my feelings around a group, cause, organization, based on their website content, or what I’ve heard about them, what their mission and vision is. Do I align with them? Is this something I feel strongly about? Is there a good possibility my skills could be useful? And then I make my decision and either reach out or not.
Sometimes, I’m just sayin’, we go overboard on keeping others out for very little reason or based on our own assumptions created by seeing through our own experiences. I just spent three days with my best friend. We couldn’t be more different when it comes to our personal habits, beliefs, interests, and how we approach life and interact with the world. And yet, we’ve managed to have a relationship that’s lasted, and we’ve enjoyed and hugely benefited from, since we were three years old. From her I’m learning about accepting others as they are and how to not care what others think. Perhaps from me she’s learning how to stand up for her own needs and to let go of being a people-pleaser.
The way I experience life is that we’re all in this together. It may look like we’re too different from each other to find common ground. But that kind of thinking prevents the possibility of a beneficial connection. And anyway, we always share similar basic needs and heartfelt desires…either in the midst of enormous struggle or when things just aren’t sitting right or if we’re fortunate enough to live joyful, creative lives. Some of what we evaluate each other on doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter what our back story is but rather what we’ve done in spite of it, and learned from it. It doesn’t so much matter what we look like, or where we live. Instead, wouldn’t it be great to focus on cooperating and creating together? To learn from each other. To release our quick to surface dismissive thoughts and, instead, open to possibilities. There’s no better time in the world for this than now.