It was a simple meeting…
How was it that afterwards, when I came home and had lunch with my husband, I cried? As I tried to express myself between tears I kept saying Why do I feel this way? What exactly happened? My husband was also asking, how could you get so upset over a casual meeting with someone? I don’t know why I feel this way, I blubbered into my salad while spilling dressing all over myself. And I really didn’t. I needed a minute (it took a week or so). I was so done, sniffle, sniffle.
This experience was not really about a disconnection with someone or an awkward meeting I’d had the best of intentions for. This was an opportunity for me to learn something about myself.
We’d met the previous week at her event and from what we both shared there, it seemed we were on the same wavelength. While she didn’t intend for this, I felt deflated by her first question…so tell me, I know there’s more to your story. There isn’t really much more I thought and all of a sudden I felt ordinary around someone who clearly was exuding ‘special’ and ‘expert’ as she shared all her highly unusual metaphysical experiences. I felt like a duck out of water and no longer stood in my personal power.
Not a fun meeting and I take complete responsibility for feeling smaller. I compared myself to someone else and fell into an old pattern of coming up short. Watching an old belief pop up over a simple interaction, allowing old assumptions about myself to resurface, the more constricted I felt.
If this experience taught me anything it’s that I have my own lane, to embrace it, and to confidently stand in it.