Exquisite aha moments are frequent these days. Maybe not so exquisite as obvious.
I’ve been so confused lately about friendships. It appears I’m in a transition period and, as a result, I feel I have some decisions to make about some of my friendships. So much has shifted in my life over the past few years that my friendships are shifting as well. With the country going through so many raw emotions now it’s easy to get into the habit of being upset, feeling hopeless, and seeing the negative. But those are not emotions I want to cultivate. I get it, something very upsetting happens and we go to fear, seeing the worst in everything, feeling dread and waiting for the worst to happen. However, my belief is that feeling hopeless and angry offers the world or me nothing of benefit, it offers only struggle. Instead, I choose to see possibilities. I choose to literally create what I desire. As I’m creating positive, I’m experiencing more positive things in my life. And, when I look back, I see a direct correlation between when I began to choose to look to myself to create better thoughts, healthier habits, and when positive experiences began to show up for me. So I’m not budging because this is working really, really, well for me.
However well things are going for me, I do feel a bit lonely hanging out here in positivity land as I don’t exactly fit in with some of my friends any longer. I’m having a really hard time listening to them. However nice it is to get together with people, I don’t enjoy being with friends that prefer to go to fear and dread. And, it’s impossible to create what I want to create if I surround myself with people who have fear and dread. It’s like trying to create a healthy lifestyle while smoking a pack of cigarettes.
When a friend and I recently spent time together, I wanted to enjoy our time by talking about anything but how bad things are. I realized I’d been watering myself down in this friendship. I rarely share what I’m excited about, or talk about some of the things I’m doing. I don’t tell and the friend doesn’t ask. So explaining why I don’t want to look at all that’s seemingly dark out there, I shared why I now choose to see possibilities, hope, and inspiration. I brought her up to date by sharing some of the amazing things that I’ve experienced, how hard I worked to get here, what I had to look at to get to this place, how excited I am about what I’m working on now. That I’m not interested in focusing on the drama and popular events that pull us down into hopelessness and fear. Unfortunately, I not so subtly conveyed through my evident frustration that day, and this is how I feel about all your negativity.
I can’t speak for my friend, but this was not about how often we get together but more about the authenticity and quality of our time together. It’s about letting friends see all of me now, especially the parts I’m apt to hide because I think a friend won’t like those parts. It’s about being seen and then asking if the mutual interest isn’t there, why are we? It’s a lesson in letting go. Being a better and kinder friend might mean allowing some friendships to fade away for our mutual benefit.