Here’s to all the speakers, like me, who are still scared to speak in front of others. And here’s to all the writers, also like me, who are not polished to the point that everything just flows and the reader perfectly understands what we’re conveying. Here’s to all the artists, like me, who still paint or take photos, regardless of how “good” we are. We are good enough. It’s art, someone will love it, but that doesn’t even matter as long as we enjoyed creating it and we see something there. And, here’s to all the women in my age group who have brains that often can’t find the word they’re looking for. Often we forget our train of thought and have to look to our husband with a look that begs, oh please help me out here, to finish our sentence for us. To those of us who have dark circles under our eyes because we wake up with hip pain, or can’t fall asleep because of restless leg syndrome, or we frequently alternate between hot and cold. We take care of ourselves and we still look tired. It’s not our fault. And, it’s not our fault that our hair is falling out. We don’t whine (maybe a little). We just make adjustments such as the clever comb over to hide our thin spots. When it works, it looks pretty good.
We are good enough. In fact, we’re amazing! And, we love our brains, thank you. We’re smart, talented, have lots to say, something to show who we are, and ideas that need to be shared. Most importantly, we feel that our hearts will wither and our light will dim if we don’t begin to share our humanity.
So I’ll keep on taking risks, sometimes stammering when I wish I was articulate, sometimes hitting a good patch of beautiful words and eloquently conveying a sentiment that comes from my heart. Whoopie! Here’s to seeing some of my friends, family members and loved one’s embarrassment for me as I strive to take steps. Worse yet, their disinterest. Here’s to hearing their words “I cringe for you” and still getting up every day to take more steps towards bringing my life more alive. Here’s to every negative Nelly, those playing it safe and all mainstream lovers…I understand you. I get it. I love you anyways my friend. Here’s to feeling your assumptions, being misunderstood, and releasing any resentment towards you. I love you.
Just don’t expect me to pick up the phone when you call. And you might not want to wait for my call. I live in another space now and I’m happy here, being imperfectly perfectly me. I could stop what I’m doing and join you in your space…but I’ll most likely be too wrapped up in being the incredible me that is living my beautiful adventurous life, one moment at a time.