Sharing with patience

Lately I’ve been sticking my big toe in the water by telling more friends about my desire to give talks about my story…and uncovering my spirituality.  So here how it’s going.  Kinda ok, kinda weird, kinda trying not to have expectations around reactions.  Yup it always, without fail, eventually digresses to religion.  That is so not what my thing is about.  Then it moves on to self-improvement and transformation.  Ok, I get it, it’s pretty much that but according to my experience and with a big picture outlook.  Then comes forth the forwarding of workshops, or merely speaking of workshops they’ve done, the books they’ve read and they think I’d like to read and so on.  As my husband said, everyone will react through their own experience of what this brings up for them.  I can’t remember exactly what he said but that’s the gist.  And he’s right.  I’ve decided it’s way better to have a friend share what this brings up for them, and try to connect with me on what I’m sharing, than go to dead silence and the conversation ends.  So in that respect it’s going well.  However, I’m not quite sure if they’re wanting me to read these books or attend a workshop because they think I’m still a work in progress. Perhaps they’re assuming I could benefit from these books and workshops because they see me as transformation girl now?  Here’s the deal.  I am a work in progress.  I’ll always be a work in progress.  That’s how the life thing works in my opinion.  We learn, evolve, grow, and keep learning, evolving, and growing.  That being said, I’m ready to step up and share the big learning I’ve learned.  What my process was…and is still.  As very wise sages once told me…You don’t need more classes.  They’re right.  I’m getting huge lessons every day by just being me.  I’m done thinking I’m not enough.  I’m done thinking I need to be more before I start to do my thing.  To stop thinking that I need to be more perfect, learn more, be better, before I can share my gifts.  Otherwise I’ll be waiting to be ready right up to when I leave this earth.  That would be a huge missed opportunity.  So, oh hell no on any and all before I’m ready statements.  Well intentioned friends are just that and that’s lovely.  Next time I’ll speak up and ask why do you think I should go to this workshop?  If they say it’s to meet the people who can hire  me to do a talk, then I’m good.  If not, I speak up and tell them…thanks for thinking of me but I’m good thanks.  I’m ready to get out there.  “Be and do” the wise beings said.  It’s taken three or so years since I heard that.  Sometimes it takes a minute for me to believe in myself.

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