It’s a light week – here’s an update…

It’s been a light week or two and I’ve got nothing as they say.  But I do have an update to my last post about the bike mix-up my nice gym boo-booed.  A good cardio workout, such as a cycling class, allows me to feel fit again and that’s great for my overall well-being, my confidence, my bad-ass persona that’s needed when I give my talks.  Ok, I’m not really going for a bad-ass persona, I just loving saying bad-ass.  But it does take A LOT to stand up in front of others and be authentic.  That, plus the little detail of fear of public speaking is enough to warrant feeling secure, rather than insecure.  And working out, getting exercise, being outdoors, painting, and sailing, are all some of the ways for me to feel my best.  I don’t become Tony Robbins but that’s not my plan anyway.  First off, there is no plan…isn’t that awesome?  Second, I automatically spoke up to let the gym handle the small issue that day.  I gave myself a pat on the back for that one.  You see, in the past I would have backed away and let the other person have the bike.  That’s the polite thing to do right?  No.  That’s not being polite to myself.  I always wanted to be liked way more than I wanted to take care of myself.  “Oh no you take it”.  “After you.”  “No really, that’s ok.”  “No, that didn’t bother me.”  From big stuff to small stuff, I was constantly putting other people’s needs ahead of my own.  However the other day, without thinking, I asked that we let management figure out the mistake.  #13 bike didn’t like that but it was a major thing for me to look back at and notice how cool that was.  Ok, so I didn’t make a new friend but any of the “friends” I ever made from making myself smaller, or not speaking up, or putting someone else’s needs ahead of mine, were never the greatest friends anyway.  My intuition over the years is helping me to see the choices I have.  In this case, I could choose to stay annoyed at her annoyance towards me.  But that’s just silly.  I love my biking class and I love feeling good. Why feel annoyed?  So I focus on my workout, the music, and for a few minutes I focused on how I feel nothing but good feelings towards me and her.  As I was biking, and this might seem weird, I imagined white light streaming down on us, nice birdies flying around her (think 3 Dwarves movie), a bunny rabbit showed up, and a golden retriever sat at her feet to cheer her up.  I’ll spare you all the other animals that made an appearance.  Weird as that was it worked for me.  Not too much later I had no animosity and I full-out enjoyed the class.  I even recognized myself in my biking neighbor and felt compassion for our totally all too human doo-doo.  Now every time bike #12 (me) and bike #13 (her) are in class together all is well.


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